Don't Fall in Love with Me
by Emilamoo
Summary: When Jane and Lisbon first met, she told him something. She plans to hold him to that, but not for the reason you'd think. Bad summary, I know. But it's worth reading; I promise. Also, I'd like to state that I know NOTHING about leukemia!
1. I'm Dying

**I began to write this a long time ago when I was reading Nicholas Sparks books. I then got the urge to write something with tragedy. (Yeah, I know, I'm kinda twisted in that way.) I know it's been a while since I've posted something, so here ya go. This'll be a three-shot. And be warned: the ending is not very happy. ****Oh, and just for the record, I SERIOUSLY HATE KRISTINA FRYE! **

**PLEASE NOTE: I think that these chapters get worse each time. Like, the first chapter is my favorite, then the second, and finally the third. I'm not too happy with the third, but oh well.**

**Dedictated to: Brown Eyes Parker (for being there for me all this time)**

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**Chapter One**

It was around midnight in Teresa Lisbon's apartment. Everything was turned off downstairs except her computer that was charging her iPod loaded with Spice Girls albums. It was dead silent except for the soft hum of her refrigerator. The moon shone bright against the dark blue sky, its light flooding through the window and casting shadows all over the first floor. A few drifting, thin, gray clouds passed over the moon, causing the place to be almost pitch black. Upstairs, the only thing that was on was a dimly-lit lamp on a bedside dresser.

The bed was being occupied by Lisbon and her boyfriend. She wore her black highschool volleyball sweatpants that still fit her and a red tank top. The hem of her pants was pulled down slightly, the bottom of her tank top pushed further up her stomach. She lay on her side, relishing her boyfriend's touches and the comfortable silence.

Patrick Jane drew circles lightly into the soft, creamy, bare skin of her hips, occasionally placing soft kisses on them. He rolled her onto her side so that she was facing him.

"Do you know what I think?" he asked.

She smiled at him. "What?"

He kissed her nose. "I think that I love you."

Immediately, the smile slipped off her beautiful features. "No you don't," she said softly, trying to hide the pain in her face.

It worked, and he didn't notice. Instead, he smiled. "Yes, I do!" he said, laughing as if he just discovered something. "I love you, Teresa."

This time, she shook her head. "No. You don't love me."

Her voice was firm, and he frowned in confusion. "What do you mean? Of course I love you. If I didn't, I never would have told you."

She sat up, leaning back against the headboard, and she looked away. "Don't you remember what I told you the first day I met you?"

He thought back about nine years ago.

_He stared at the petite woman in front of him. She had just told him her name, and he shook her small, soft hand. There was a strength about her that he found attractive, and he couldn't help but think she was extremely good-looking._

_Seeming to know what he was thinking, she smiled mischievously and playfully. "Just do me a favor, okay?"_

_"Anything for a lady," he shot back just as humorously._

_"Don't fall in love with me."_

_He couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his lips, and he smiled. "I'll try not to. It shouldn't be too hard, though. I have a wife."_

_She chuckled. "Good. Let's keep it that way, Mr. Jane."_

_"Patrick, if you please."_

_"I don't please, but thanks for offering, Jane."_

_He smiled even wider, and she did the same, both of their eyes dancing with amusement._

_He liked this spunky woman already._

"You were serious about that?" Jane asked in disbelief.

She slowly nodded. "Yes, I was."

"But why? Why can't I love you?"

"It's... complicated."

She hoped that her explanation- if you could even really call it that- would suffice.

"_Complicated?_" he asked, starting to get frustrated. "That's all you can say? Don't you trust me enough to tell me?"

"Patrick-"

"No, don't 'Patrick' me. I want you to tell me why. We can get through this if you just _tell me._"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

She turned around and looked him in the eyes, her own green ones mirroring his fear. "Because I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.

He took her head in both hands and fiercely kissed her forehead. "You can't. You'd hurt me more by _not _telling me."

She dipped her eyes and head away from him and his hands shamefully. "I'm sorry."

"Damn it, Teresa! I _love _you, for Chrissake! I deserve to know! Is it because of your job?"

"No."

"Because of Bosco?"

Her eyes flashed quickly to his. "No!"

"Then _why? _Because you're scared? Because you're afraid of your morals? Of what your family would think? Of what the CBI would do? Is it because you're nervous? Because-"

"Because I'm dying!"

He stopped his rant all at once and looked at her. "What?" he whimpered, not sure if he'd heard her correctly.

"I'm dying," she repeated, softer this time.

He didn't want to believe her. "No."

She nodded sadly. "Yes. I have leukemia. I was diagnosed a year before I met you. The doctor told me I'd have about ten years to live. I saw him again about a week ago."

Jane felt tears welling up in his eyes. "What'd he say?"

She took a deep breath. "Just that I have a couple of more months to live. Two tops."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" he asked, hurt, devastated, and angry.

"Because I didn't want to hurt you! That's why I didn't want to tell you!"

"Why did you let me fall in love with you if you knew this was gonna happen?"

Tears sprung to her eyes. "I didn't know that I was going to fall in love with you! It just happened! My doctor told me to live my life as best as I could and not think about it."

"Oh, so I was just some part of your plan to be happy before you die?"

The words stung. "_No! _You are _so _much more to me than that!"

He got up. "I can't believe you're leaving me! This is why I didn't want to love again. But I did and now look what's happening! You're dying!"

"Patrick, please, just listen to me," she pleaded. She reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened under her touch but didn't move away, and she took that as a good sign. "I'm so, so sorry. I know I should've told you earlier, but I knew you'd react like this. I didn't want to let you go through that."

He sighed. "I have to go."

With that, he turned away and left, not looking back.


	2. Marry Me

**Ugh, it seems that each time I write I get worse and worse. :/ Blech! I'm not too happy with this chapter, but it'll have to do. **

**And also, because I forgot it on the previous chapter, here's my disclaimer.**

**Disclaimer: I'm complaining about how I have to wait three whole months until season 3 of The Mentalist starts, no way do I own it.**

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Chapter Two: Marry Me

The team didn't take the news well, but they were better than Jane was. Van Pelt threw herself at Lisbon, nearly knocking the senior agent over. She held onto her tightly, crying uncontrollably.

When they pulled away, Lisbon tried her best to smile.

"Hey, cheer up, okay? You're a great agent, and I'm so happy I met you. I'm sorry I've been so mean to you in the past. You deserve more than that. I know you'll grow up to be an amazing leader of the CBI. Don't ever give up or let anyone influence what you do. You're amazing, Grace." Her eyes watered, and when Van Pelt started to cry again, she put her hand on her cheek. "Hey, smile, okay? I'm not gone yet."

Van Pelt nodded, her chin trembling, and she offered a weak smile. "Okay. Thanks. I will."

"Cho?" Lisbon asked.

He turned to her, pain evident in his eyes. "Yes?"

She reached out her hand to him. He took it.

"You have been by my side for so long, and I only wish I could return the favor. I wouldn't want anyone else to take over for me but you."

He shook his head, cutting her off. "I could never do that."

"Please, Kimball, do this for me. Just this one favor. Will you do that?"

A few tears escaped his eyes, and he nodded. "Of course."

She pulled him into her and hugged him tightly.

Then she hugged Rigsby. "Take care of Grace, okay?"

He took in a shaky breath, holding back tears and nodded. "I will. I'll miss you, Teresa."

"I'll miss you too, Wayne. I'll miss all of you."

When Jane walked into the room, everyone became silent. They stepped back so that Jane and Lisbon were in clear view of each other.

He took one look at all of her faces. "You told them."

It wasn't a question, but she nodded anyway.

He looked at the others. "Could I talk to Lisbon alone?"

They nodded and walked away. He approached her, and they locked eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Teresa. I left you when you needed me most, and when _I _needed you most. I just love you so much and couldn't bear the thought of losing you. Will you forgive me?"

She couldn't have stayed mad at him even if she wanted to.

"Of course I will."

"I love you. So much. More than words."

She nodded. "I know. I love you too. More than I can express."

He put a hand on her cheek and pulled her in close. His lips met hers in a deep kiss. He poured out everything he was feeling at the time into that kiss: fear, sadness, devastation, loss, longing, frustration, and love. She grasped lightly at the lapels of his jacket, pulling him closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her, not ever wanting to let go of her.

Tears started streaming down both of their faces, and in time, they mixed. They could both taste their saltwater tears in their lips as they continued to kiss, savoring the moment. Her hands went up to get lost and roam in his golden curls, and he held onto her face, cupping her cheeks so they would never break away.

Air was a necessity, however, and even though they broke off for air a couple of times, they always returned to each other, kissing like the world was going to end. He ran his hand through that silky hair of hers, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her gently like she was a China doll made out of thin glass.

That night, he kissed every single inch of her, trying to memorize everything about her.

He kissed her from the beginning of her hairline to the tips of her fingers to the nails on her toes and everything in between.

He spent hours on each spot, paying attention only to what he was doing and nothing else.

Their exchange that night was raw and passionate.

The next few weeks went by too quickly for them. They spent every living moment together. Jane quit his job, and Lisbon resigned early.

He surprised her by taking her to a private beach. Two horses stood in front of them: one dark brown with a black mane, white strip down his head, and pink muzzle, the other a glistening chestnut. They had nothing but halters and reins on them. The chestnut one had two soft blankets wrapped with cord and a picnic basket on his back.

"Oh, Patrick..."

He lifted her up onto the brown one's back and smiled up at her. She bent down and kissed him happily. He took the supplies off of his horse and climbed up. They galloped down the beach side for hours, racing each other and laughing. They rode their horses deep into the ocean until the water was up to the horses' hindquarters. The horses stood obediently where they were while Patrick and Teresa slipped off their backs, splashing into the cold water.

Their jeans and shirts grew instantly wet, but neither of them cared. He spun her around in the bright cerulean water, and she dunked him under the surface a couple of times. Then, she wrapped her legs around his torso and held onto him. He took her a bit deeper, and then they both looked under the surface of the water. She marveled at all the colorful fish. She had no idea water could be so clear, so beautiful.

Patrick produced an under-water camera that she hadn't noticed before.

"Let me take some pictures of you."

She shook her head, laughing. "No, are you kidding? I'll look like a dork!"

He kissed her. "The most beautiful dork on earth, you mean."

"Oh, all right."

She disappeared under water, and he dunked under too. He wrapped his arm around her waist, and she began to intertwine their legs together. The action sent sensations up both of their bodies. He pressed his lips as well as he could to her cheek and blindly pushed down on the button. They went back to the surface. He kissed her neck, and she threw her head back a little, arching into him. He took another picture, wishing he could freeze time and make the moment last forever. Her head fell back forward, and she opened her eyes, grinning. Smiling mysteriously, she disappeared under the salty water.

She smiled. The reflections of the water surface danced all over her body, the beautiful blue scenery surrounding her. Colorful fish darted around. Her beautiful green eyes matched the few strands of seaweed swaying in the slight current. Her hair splayed all around her, shining and glimmering in the sunlight. He had the urge to reach out and thread his fingers through it, but he waited until he took the picture. Then, he raked his fingers through, enjoying the soft strands, before they had to go back up to the surface to breathe.

"God, I love you," he told her.

She smiled, somewhat sadly. "I do too."

He took her face in his hands. "What am I gonna do when you're gone?"

She sighed a watery sigh. "How am I supposed to answer that, Patrick? I honestly don't know how to answer that. You'll probably just move on with your life and forget all about me."

He kissed her fiercely, as if assuring himself that she was still there, in his arms.

"I will never forget you," he told her, searching her eyes. "Remember that. And I will never stop loving you."

"But-"

He kissed her, again and again, over and over, not ever wanting to let her go. Hard, quick, passionate kisses that were less than two or three seconds long. Finally he broke away, breathing heavily along with the woman in his arms.

"Could we not talk about this right now?" she asked.

"Of course. I'm sorry," he apologized quickly.

Placing one last kiss on her cheek, he hoisted her up onto her horse's back and got on his own. Back on the shore, they shared a romantic dinner on the shore.

They made love in the moonlight on the beach that night. She fell asleep in his arms. The next morning, a light breeze woke her up. She rolled over and observed Jane. He woke up and smiled a little at her. She smiled back, took a deep breath, and stood up, stretching. She turned around to get her clothes only to discover Patrick kneeling down on the beach.

"What are you doing?" Teresa asked.

He reached into his basket and pulled out a small, black, velvet box.

The tears began to roll out of both of their eyes before either one of them spoke.

"Teresa Lisbon, I am in love with you and have been in love with you for before I can remember. I think I've been in love with you since the moment I met you. I can remember every moment that has passed between us. From when I gave you that origami frog to when we held hands and ran in the rain to the van, to when you were jealous that I kissed Sophie Miller on the cheek and offered for me to drive the car-"

"I wasn't jealous-" she started to protest, but he gave her a pointed look. "Okay, so maybe I was."

He continued on. "to when I touched your face when I was blind, to when we did the trust fall, to when that beautiful smile took over your face when I got you that pony for your birthday, to when you told me people care about me and I killed Sheriff Hardy, to when we first hugged when I bought you those strawberries to make up to you, to when I hypnotized you and really _hugged _you, to when I gazed at you that day I found out Bosco was in love with you, to when you handcuffed yourself to the door to make sure I didn't die, to when you frantically searched for me when I was kidnapped, to when I was extremely jealous when that drunk kissed you at the high school reunion, to when we slow danced for the first time, to when I told you you'd be the first and only person I'd call if I knew I was going to die and couldn't do anything about it, to when we had that moment in the locked cargo box and I said I'd always save you no matter what, and everything after that."

"You- you remember all of that?" she asked in disbelief.

"How could I ever forget? You are the center of my world. I know I'm not the best person in the world, but you make me want to change. I can't see my life without you. Would you please do me the honor of marrying me?"

"But I'm- I'm not gonna... be here-"

He cut her off. "I don't care about that! I _love _you! I'm not asking you to marry me because I'm losing you, or because I feel bad, I'm asking you to marry me because I want us to be bound together forever. I love you so much." He opened the box to reveal a beautiful diamond surrounded by little emeralds. "Marry me."

Her eyes filled up with tears. There they were: a couple on the beach in the middle of a proposal, both naked, one that didn't have much longer to live, both broken in their own ways, and utterly in love with each other. They weren't perfect- that was for sure- but they were the best that they could ever be together.

She nodded. "Oh, Patrick, yes! Yes, yes I will marry you!"

Her hands shook as he tenderly slid on the ring onto her shaking finger. He stood up and embraced her tightly. They clutched each other, neither willing to let go. He kissed the top of her head over and over.

It was a simple wedding, just the three of them. Him, her, and a pastor. She wore a slick, white, halter top dress, and despite her conditions, she was stunningly gorgeous. She was becoming more and more noticeably weak from her disease, and she had to hold onto his arm a little. Her skin was slightly paler, there were shadows dusting under her eyes, and she was even skinnier than she was before. Yet, as she stood there before him, he couldn't help but think that she was still the most beautiful person on earth.

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**Okay, I can't remember the last time I read over this chapter so if there's a buncha mistakes and things that don't make sense, forgive me. **

**Also, question: There was only one review on the first chapter which makes me feel like there's not much interest in this fic. Should I continue or just delete this? Thanks.**


	3. Goodbye

**I'd just like to point out, that for the record, I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT LEUKEMIA! and that I couldn't really think of any other disease to give Lisbon, so I just used that one. Sorry if it seems highly unrealistic about her condition- I'm sure it is- but I tried my best.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist.**

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**Chapter Three: Goodbye**

Two weeks.

There was approximately two weeks of time Teresa had left that the doctor had estimated.

She was weaker, and she was showing signs of obvious near-death. She required assistance with the simplest of tasks: walking, picking something up, opening a jar, loading/unloading the dishwasher, even just standing. She needed Patrick's help with everything. She even needed his help taking a shower.

She hated it. She hated not being the one in control. She admitted it: she was a control-freak. She couldn't stand having to rely on someone on _every little thing _she did. Patrick tried to insist that it didn't matter that he had to help her, but she wouldn't listen.

It drove her insane. So insane- to one point- that she lost it.

Teresa was in her kitchen- Patrick had moved in with her- making a sandwich. She was trying to open a jar of pickles but couldn't get the lid off.

"Stupid piece of junk," she muttered under her breath, frantically twisting at the lid. "Come on, open up already."

She tried her hardest to open up the jar, pulling at it. It wouldn't budge.

"Damn," she cursed.

Patrick appeared beside her. "Having troubles, darling?" he asked, placing a small kiss on her bare shoulder.

"Yes, this sonuvabitch lid won't freaking come of the goddamn jar!"

He frowned. "Wow, calm down, Resa. It's just a jar of pickles. Do you want my help?"

"No, I don't want your help, I want to get this lid off!" she all but yelled, beginning to attack the innocent jar of pickles. Her hands began to shake.

He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to get her to look in his eyes. "Teresa, look at me. Let me help you; it's fine. It's no big deal. Please don't get worked up about this."

"No," she hissed stubbornly. She looked at him, her eyes flaring and voice rising. "I don't want your help! I'm sick and tired of having to ask you to do everything! I want to be able to do things by myself again! I am- was- a _senior agent _for Chrissake! I tackled suspects, chased after murderers, and fought my way out of tons of situations. I shouldn't need help opening a _stupid, worthless jar_! I can do it myself! I hate this! I hate my life! I'm going to open this if it's the last _freaking thing I do _in my _freaking life!_ Why won't you open?" she screamed.

She let out a little howl before trying her best to hurl the jar at the wall. It hit the wall, bounced off harmlessly, and rolled to the ground.

"Teresa!"

"Oh my God, I can't even throw something hard enough to break it against a wall!" she wailed.

She ran over to the jar, picked it up, and smashed it onto the ground. She performed the action continuously until it finally broke into pieces. Sharp shards of glass cut into her palms and hands. She still continued to take the pieces and shove them into the ground. The glass cut her skin, ripping it open and causing it to bleed. She ignored the pain and sat back, leaning against the wall. She cradled her head in her bloody hands and began to cry uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. She dissolved, collapsing into a pile of tears.

"Oh, Teresa," Patrick croaked out, shakily making his way over to her. He sat beside her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. It killed him to see his wife in such a fragile state, so vulnerable, so afraid, so angry. He held back the tears. "Teresa, it's all right to ask for help. I don't feel any less of you because you need help. In fact, I think admitting you need help makes you even stronger. It shouldn't be something you're ashamed of. It just makes you human. Nothing will ever make me love you less."

"But I'm so weak! I can barely stand on my own anymore," she sobbed.

"That doesn't matter to me. You're just as strong as the first day I met you, if not stronger. You're still the tough, intelligent, no-nonsense, stubborn, hard-ass, beautiful woman I fell in love with." He began to stand up. "Hold on. I'll be right back."

He returned with bandages and gauze. After bandaging her hands, he kissed each fingertip before reclaiming his seat beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder. Her crying ceased.

"Patrick, I'm so tired," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, don't apologize," he told her, kissing her forehead.

He scooped her up in his arms and carried her upstairs to their room. He laid her gently down on to the bed. She blinked at him, her eyes full of love.

"Thank you."

He bent down and kissed her. "Anytime."

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The next day was their last day in the outside world. Patrick took Teresa to see live performances of Wicked, Mamma Mia!, and the Lion King. They had dinner at Wendy's- her last fast food meal, as she called it- and went back home. After their final passionate make-out session they'd ever have, she fell asleep with him stroking her hair.

Halfway through the night, Patrick woke up to hear his wife's breathing grown thin, frail, and somewhat labored. He gently shook her.

"Teresa, honey, are you all right?"

She woke up and shook her head. "Patrick…hospital…please."

In just a matter of minutes, he was inside the Emergency Room carrying her.

"Someone help, please! My wife's having trouble breathing, and she has leukemia!"

An assistant directed them to an empty room. They hooked her up to some oxygen and told him the doctor would take a look at her.

"She's at her final stages, I'm afraid. She's only got a few days left," the doctor informed them.

Patrick's eyes began to water. "No, don't tell me that."

"Patrick," Teresa spoke up from her bed. "Don't. It's all right. I've lived a good life."

And that's the exact moment when Patrick Jane's hear broke.

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Van Pelt, Rigsby, and Cho visited Teres the next day to bid their final goodbyes. They all tried their best to remain positive and cheery, but the minute they excited, Van Pelt broke down into tears. It took her a good half an hour to finally clam down and allow Rigsby to take her home.

It was a good thing they went when they did. Had they come just three days later, they would've been too late.

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On the day Teresa Lisbon died, she was aware that her life was coming to an end. She felt like she was so weak she could barely breathe or blink, so tired that if she fell asleep, she'd never wake up.

"Patrick," she whispered.

Her husband turned from where he was gazing out the window and rushed to her side. "Yes, my love?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die soon-"

"No, don't say that. You're gonna live."

She shook her head- a difficult task- and cut him off. "No, I'm not. Shush. Let me say this. When I first met you, I couldn't stand you. You pushed my buttons, tested my limits, and continuously continued to disobey me.

"It took me a while to respect you. I finally had to begrudgingly admit that you were amazing that you were you were amazing at solving cases. I slowly began to think of you as a useful colleague. I relied on you, and I thought of you as a valuable member of the team.

"It took some time, but I finally began to think of you as a friend. We spent most of our time together. Within a little while, it became obvious we were attracted to each other. We began to flirt on a regular basis, which added to our friendship. It became noticeable that we cared for each other, and then we were best friends.

"Then we began experimenting with other people. You with Frye, me with Bosco. When I saw how jealous you were of Bosco, I thought that maybe you thought of me as more than just a friend. Then, of course, you went out with Frye. I couldn't believe how jealous I was of her. That was the first sign that told me I had feelings for you.

"We began to do things together regularly after that. Going out to dinners, going to ranges to practice shooting. I slowly began to realize that I was falling in love with you. I bean to notice that you were falling in love with me, too. I can still remember the first time you kissed me. It was pouring outside, and you took my hand. We danced, and then you pulled me close before cupping my cheek and kissing me. It was one of the best kisses in my life.

"Patrick Jane, what I'm trying to tell you is that even though I'm dying young, you've given me a life I will never forget. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. You let me experience true love. I fell in love and became your wife. That's the best thing that's ever happened to me. And for that, I thank you."

Patrick stroked her cheek. "Oh, Teresa. You have no idea what you do to me. Ever since I met you, there was an attraction that I couldn't deny. I just couldn't admit it, either. I was so afraid of getting too close to someone that I didn't realize how quickly I fell in love with you. I just brushed off the feelings as though purely of lust. But it was so much more than that.

"You made me learn how to love again. I never thought I could ever do that. You've given me a reason to live life to the fullest. You made me realize how stupid and petty my vengeance against Red John was. I should be the one thanking you. I will always love you."

Her eyes started to water up. "Thirsty…"

He got up from the bed and rushed to get a cup of water. When he returned, she looked as pale as ever. She looked physically and mentally exhausted, drained, and beat up. He rushed to her side and took her hand.

"It's… time..." she started to tell him.

"No!" he whispered fiercely, his eyes brimming with tears. "No, you're not leaving me. Not now. Not ever!"

"I h-have to. I love you, Patrick Jane."

"I love you more, Teresa Lisbon."

He leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers for the very last time. She tried her best to smile before her eyes closed and her hand went limp in his. The heart monitor beeped once, a long beep, signaling her death.

"_No!" _Patrick cried. He shook her gently, then, realizing that she truly was gone, laid his head on her chest and began to cry uncontrollably.

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**Sorry if the ending wasn't what you expected. I tried to warn some of you in my answers to your reviews that it might not be a happy ending, and it wasn't. But, I still hope that you enjoyed this even though she didn't live! After all, she isn't dead in real life, so that's good. :) I would die if she was dead in real life. I would love to hear your feedback!**


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